The only major change in my routine is the tripod-based cane that I leave in my office, not that my balance gets worse at work but it is a lot easier to use when you need to grab files and papers here and there multiple times a day. Rather than dropping an unstable walking stick 5 or 6 time a day, a steady and always vertical device is a pleasure.
I hesitated between a tripod cane and a crutch that you can attach to your forearm, and somehow went for the tripod cane because I love the way I feel when I roll my office chair to the right, grab my leg under the knee to adjust its position and grab the sturdy handle before slowly rising to a standing position. It wouldn't happen the same way with a forearm crutch.
I intend on having my condition worsening within the next few weeks. However, I'll keep using only one cane until it is unbearable. I want to look weak and unsteady, minding each step and fearing the wind or a uneven patch of grass. I want to push it to the max and enjoy the relief when I'll switch to a more secure kind of walking help.
So far my cane and an ankle brace are all I need to feel satisfied, and somehow I'm not the only one enjoying it. The tripod cane seems to be a real turn on for Emma, my boss.
It took me a while to work it out, and I'm not sure if she, herself, understands it clearly but she's a devotee. Ever since I brought the tripod cane to the office she's been coming more and more at my desk, requesting various thins requiring me to get up, get to the file cabinet and rummage around. Every time I place my weak foot correctly, grab the handle and slowly rise I can hear that she stops breathing. Once, I swear I heard her moan in my back as I was clutching my cane to bend over a drawer. That's when I knew.
I don't mind the attention at all. I'm not into girls, although, if I was, Emma would not be someone I'd disregard as a potential partner. But, mind you, if I feel exhilarated by the use of assistive devices, I don't know why I should feel bad about someone else enjoying it too!
However, something's bugging me. I'm a pretender. I wonder if Emma would still find me so attractive if she knew. I've been wondering whether I should try and come out as a pretender, but considering she is my boss and did me a couple of favours when I decided to move to my adapted home, it doesn't feel right. On the other hand, having her aware of my real state and maybe open to the idea, would open a wide array of possibilities for the future. I can't say I haven't been thinking about this charming redhead in a few interesting situations lately.Anyway, I'm still in two minds about it and I've decided I'd give it a rest for now. Maybe I'll discuss it with Abigail, my neighbor. Something tells me she'll have rather interesting insights about this situation.
